I want to talk about something that I don’t hear discussed enough—skill regression, especially for autistic children.
My son has been in swim lessons for almost a year now. Swimming is something he truly loves, and something he’s genuinely good at. Like many autistic individuals, repetition and consistency are everything when learning a new skill. Routine builds confidence. Familiarity builds safety. Progress doesn’t usually come in leaps—it comes in layers.
Right before the holidays, he had just begun learning a new swim skill. Then we took a break. A long one. Missed classes. Missed routine. Missed repetition.
When we returned, something shifted.
He was suddenly afraid of the deep end. Hesitant. Unsure. He didn’t know what to do, even with skills he had already learned. And then he said something I had never heard him say before:
“I don’t want to swim anymore.”
That one sentence hit hard.
We had to take steps back—and that was okay.
After talking with the swim staff (who are truly incredible humans), we all agreed to meet him where he was. Not where he had been. Not where we hoped he’d be. But right where he stood in that moment.
If you’re teaching a child on the spectrum how to swim—or anything, really—find people who are patient. People who love kids. People who love what they do. And when you find them, stay with them. That consistency matters more than speed.
One class in particular was tough. He cried the entire time. I held it together on the outside and cried on the inside. Dad was at school that day, so he missed it—but I sent videos. It was one of those moments where you question everything, even when you know better.
But here’s the important part: we didn’t stop going.
The following week, he came back.
They took him out of the deep end. They focused on comfort. On trust. On reconnecting with the water—and with his instructor. She rebuilt that trust patiently, without rushing, without pressure. And only then did they begin to move forward again.
And he did.
Regression doesn’t mean failure.
Pausing doesn’t erase progress.
A few missed days don’t undo a year of growth.
If you’re a parent walking through something similar, please hear this: it’s okay. Don’t let them give up on something you know lives in their spirit—something they love, something they shine in—even when the path gets shaky for a moment.
Stick with it.
Take them back.
Meet them where they are.
That’s what we’re going to do.
And that’s enough.
Follow us on IG and Facebook @raisingmywiredking
Raising My Wired King 