✈️ A Much-Needed Break: From Wired King to Rewired Parents
As much as I love pouring into my son, advocating for him, and homeschooling through meltdowns, milestones, and magical moments….I won’t lie: mama and daddy needed a break.
So we pressed pause on parenting for just a few days, kissed our little King goodbye, and slipped away to Cartagena, Colombia. This trip was our way of resetting, reconnecting, and just remembering who we are outside of being caregivers. Sometimes, you need to leave your routine to pour back into each other.
This blog post isn’t just about what we did: it’s the real, unfiltered story of where we went, what worked, what flopped, and how we made the most of a vacation that was everything from beautiful to busted (depending on the moment). If you’re planning a trip to Cartagena or dreaming of a little break from the beautiful chaos of parenting, this one’s for you!
🌴 Introduction: Our Cartagena Chronicles
Cartagena, Colombia: where the views are breathtaking, the drinks are smoother than your cousin’s pick-up lines, and the heat will humble your deodorant! This trip was a whirlwind of highs, lows, and hilarious memories. Whether you’re planning your first visit or just here for the tea, I’m spilling it all. From unfiltered Airbnb details to surprise cultural gems, consider this your go-to guide if you’re thinking about vacationing in Cartagena.
🏖 Where We Stayed: H2 Condo, Bocagrande
Let’s start with the Airbnb. We stayed at the H2 Condo apartment in Bocagrande, and here’s the real:
The view? Absolutely stunning!! Corner unit with wraparound windows gave us ocean and city views right from the main bedroom. Breathtaking doesn’t even cover it. The A/C? Worked beautifully once fixed, and thank God for that because Cartagena’s heat don’t play. Check-in experience? Rough. We arrived early and waited until 3 PM. There was miscommunication about where to pick up the keys, and the receptionist left us standing awkwardly with no clear direction. The sofas? Tragic. One was hard as bricks, the other had sinkholes where you could literally fall in. Not great for lounging. Missing essentials? Yup. No complimentary water, no wash cloths, no detergent, and no Kleenex. Bring your own everything—we always do anyway…even extra trash bags. Second bedroom? Very tight. My sister and her guy had trouble moving around or opening suitcases comfortably. Other notes: The elevators were hot and airless. There’s no ironing board; and beware the hot water swings between boiling and lukewarm, which could catch you slipping (literally)! But one of the few Airbnbs that had hot water during my research.
Despite all that, the unit was clean, had a projector in the living room (which we didn’t use), and well-stocked dishes in the kitchen. Just be prepared. It’s definitely more about the panoramic view!!
Just steps from the H2 Condo sits a public beach with an interesting vibe. After a heavy rain, the water was a bit muddy, but you can walk far out into the ocean and still only be thigh-deep, perfect for non-swimmers or families with kids. Just like most Cartagena beaches, vendors are out hustling their goods, so be ready to say “no, gracias” unless you’re actually buying. If you’re interested in lounging, two chairs and an umbrella ran about $15 USD, but make sure you bring cash, no card payments accepted on the sand…mud, I mean sand! We ended up just sitting in the sun.
🍽 Where We Ate: Hits, Misses & Everything in Between
Atrium Café
I waited 45 minutes for the tiniest pizza you’ve ever seen. Meanwhile, everyone else got burgers and ribs in half the time (but a long time). Great waiter, but the kitchen? Not so great.
Every restaurant was slow. On purpose. That’s just how they do it.
Ely Café (Historic Area)
Everything tasted as good as it looked! The oatmeal pancakes were buttery and unique. Regular pancakes were different from American ones but still tasty. The breakfast sandwiches, bowl, and ginger shots were delicious! Customer service? On point!
You know I was practicing my Spanish!
FUBAR
Tiny bar with massive vibes. The frozen drinks were hands-down the smoothest we’ve ever had! Better than Margaritaville, no chunky ice in sight. It’s small, so don’t bring a crowd unless you’re taking drinks to-go.
Porthos Steakhouse
COLD fries. Undercooked meat. Nobody was happy. Enough said. I didn’t eat because meatless meals were slim. Oh, and the water in the banos was not working. Not sure how they were washing their hands.
La Cevichería
We took a horse & carriage to this place. Outdoor seating, friendly service. It was a good spot for the lone pescatarian in our group (me!). Still waiting to rave about the food though. Let’s just say, I didn’t starve.
Morena Lounge
Beautiful space with upscale lounge vibes. My snapper was great, my husband loved his ribeye, and our drinks were bomb except one blueberry cocktail that flopped. Service was super accommodating and even removed the drink from the bill.
Bonus: we faked a birthday and they brought out a cake with a sparkler. 10/10 on fun!
Buena Vida Marisquería & Rooftop — The Rooftop We Didn’t Get, But the Vibe Still Delivered
We originally planned to dine upstairs for the full rooftop experience, but due to a forgotten reservation, the manager kindly asked us to give up our seats. So, we moved from the rooftop bar (where we were already sipping cocktails and enjoying the scene) and ended up being seated on the second floor instead.
Despite that hiccup, the energy didn’t drop. The second floor still had a great ambiance, fun music, and the same beautiful décor that makes this place a must-visit.
Now for the food, chef’s kiss! Every plate was a stunner, and the flavors backed it up. I had shrimp bowl and appetizer (3 pc fish stuffed rolls like a taquito) that was perfectly seasoned, and the rest of the group had nothing but good things to say about their meals too. The drinks were strong and tasty, just how you want them on vacation!
The staff? Very accommodating. Even though we lost our rooftop seating, they made sure we were taken care of, and that says a lot during busy hours.
They clearly know how to craft an experience, from décor to dishes to drinks. Even without the rooftop view, we left full and satisfied, with smiles and boomerangs to prove it.
💡 Pro tip: Make a rooftop reservation ahead of time. Otherwise, you might end up giving up your seat like we did.
Cande
This was the low point. My coconut rice with shrimp and mini lobster was too salty. The drink was disgusting, and the manager, Yasmin (aka “Captain”), refused to remake it. We were moved upstairs to avoid a crowded room with no airflow, but even then, the second-floor tables were too small; my husband couldn’t fit his legs under. The heat, poor service, and bad food made this the worst meal of the trip for me. Yet, my husband enjoyed his coconut wrapped fish.
Brioche (Brunch)
Tiny spot—not good for large groups. There was a language barrier that caused some order confusion, but the staff was incredibly sweet. The pancakes weren’t sweet like back home, and the corn-based item tasted like soggy cornbread. Maybe a local favorite, but not ours. My husband killed his plate (omelette & french toast)!
🛥 What We Did: Tours, Culture & Chaos
Walled City
Beautiful historical site built to keep out pirates. We didn’t walk the whole wall but soaked in the scenery. Pro tip: if you have bad knees or mobility issues, skip this one. Uneven ground, inclines, and long distances. We saw a lady fall hard; my husband tried to help, but she “ate that ground up.”
Palenque Cultural Tour
An Afro-Colombian gem. Our guide Romeo was great. We learned about the village’s herbal remedies, watched an emotional drumming performance where dancers honored ancestors with chained-foot movements, and sweated like crazy. It was HOT! Umbrellas helped, but not much. Lunch was okay: fried fish was overcooked according to my husband (he was spoiled from the fish at Cholon), and the soup made him sweat more. Great experience, but wear light clothes and bring sanitizer. Book the tour here:
Cholón Boat Party (E-Trips)
Rainy and chaotic start. Stood in the rain forever. Poor organization. Dirty, dusty bus with no legroom. Once on the speedboat, things got better. Chilled ride to the island. Upon arrival, jet ski hustlers and hookah guys swarmed us before we even docked. Bring cash, credit card use adds 15%. Don’t buy from random vendors, only staff-approved ones. It’s fun if you’re down for the chaos! We enjoyed the music and mingling. Book the tour here:
Cartagena ATV Tour
Comfiest ATV seat ever! Muddy conditions canceled parts of the ride, and we’re still waiting on a partial refund. We rode to a weird, deserted beach with stray dogs and a man in tight Speedos (lol). We passed through local streets where kids high-fived us, and ended with a city-view stop. Bring your own helmet liner or mask: they didn’t provide any. Book the tour here:
🌋 Totumo Mud Volcano Tour
We were too tired and missed the mud tour. But book yours here and let us know how it goes:
🚐 Transfer: Trust Orlando from Samaria
Orlando from Samaria Transfers handled our airport rides like a pro. He was early, communicated well, and gave solid advice. Highly recommend booking this ahead so you’re not stuck dealing with airport hustlers trying to grab your luggage.
At the airport, immigration was long and hot, but manageable. Just know that on the way out, Delta had us standing in the blazing heat for 15 minutes after calling military personnel. Spanish announcements are LOUD as ever in that airport. English? Not so much. Book your transfer here:
🚗 Getting Around Cartagena: Uber vs. Taxis
When it comes to getting around Cartagena, Uber is your friend. It was super easy to use; rides came quickly, drop-offs were smooth, and we had no issues navigating the city this way. I highly recommend downloading and using Uber while you’re there. It’s reliable, cost-effective, and helps you avoid the confusion of negotiating prices.
As for the taxis? There are a ton of them on the streets, but since we didn’t use any ourselves, I can’t speak to the experience. For peace of mind and convenience, I say stick with Uber.
https://referrals.uber.com/refer?id=v4d64s77x17a
✈ Final Thoughts
Cartagena gave us vibrant culture, scenic views, bomb drinks, and lots of stories to tell. It also gave us no wash cloths, no air-conditioned elevators, and some serious heat rash 😂
Would I go back? Yes, but with better expectations.
Would I recommend it? Also yes, just don’t show up thinking it’s all palm trees and paradise. Prepare for the unexpected, stay flexible, and bring your own washcloth!
Update: Be sure to download WhatsApp so you can communicate with the locals (excursion wise). Here’s the link: https://whatsapp.com/dl/
💬 Comment Below
Have questions about Cartagena? Ask me anything! If you’ve been before, drop your tips too. I might just use them for the next trip!
Raising My Wired King 