It started with a simple homeschool game. We were working on CVC words, and I was excited to him engaged. I had the cards ready, the camera rolling, and my mom heart was fully invested in creating a learning moment.
Then it happened, he didn’t get the word. I stepped in to help. And because I helped, I didn’t let him win that card.
He was upset. Really upset. And in an instant, the joy drained out of the moment!
The Meltdown I Didn’t See Coming
He nearly threw my phone and stormed off. No gentle lesson landed. No Pinterest-worthy moment unfolded. And I stood there, not angry…just caught off guard.
I had wanted to teach him the importance of perseverance, of losing gracefully and trying again next time. But his nervous system wasn’t ready for that. The message I wanted to share got buried beneath frustration, dysregulation, and disappointment.
What I Had to Tell Myself
So instead of teaching him, I had to talk to “me.”
I whispered truths to myself in the quiet that followed his exit:
– “I wasn’t ready for that.”
– “This doesn’t mean I failed.”
– “His nervous system is louder than the lesson right now.”
– “I can give him space without giving up.”
– “We don’t need perfection. We need presence.”
And then I reminded myself of this:
I’m breaking generational curses. There was a time “not long ago” when a meltdown like that would’ve been met with punishment. Some melanated mamas were taught to “whoop first, ask later.” To demand stillness. Silence. Control.
But I’m doing it differently.
Although I instinctively pushed his arm to stop him from fully snatching and throwing my phone…I didn’t hit him. And I’m proud of that. I protected both of us in that moment without reacting in anger.
I’m parenting with softness, even when it’s hard. I’m choosing connection over correction. Not because it’s easy but because it’s healing.
What I Learned (Again)
That moment reminded me of something I already know but constantly relearn: the lesson can wait. Connection matters more than correction. And a child who feels safe enough to walk away is still learning to come back.
So, if you’ve ever had a moment that didn’t go as planned, where the meltdown came before the message, I see you! You are not alone; and you are still doing an incredible job!
Have you ever had a parenting moment that didn’t land the way you intended? What did you learn from it or what would you say to yourself now?
Drop your story in the comments or DM me on Instagram @raisingmywiredking—I’d love to hear it.
Raising My Wired King 